Didn't Expect This

So, I didn't expect 'settling in' this fall turning into 'settling down' next summer. But when hearts are warm and content, love flourishes and long time partners become fiances'.



That's right world. Colin Thomasson finally proposed to Jennifer Lounsbury. I guess in my heart of hearts I always knew this day would come. I didn't expect it to be the night after my busiest conference of they year, or in front of family but that just makes it that much more memorable. It truly speaks to who Colin and I are. Family oriented, hard working, youthful, silly, unpredictable, traditional.

The high points: Colin speaking from the heart. He does it so well. I look forward to listening to him read his own wedding vows, which, he agreed to write without any reservations. The ring. I know, I know. I shouldn't put so much emphasis on such a superficial thing. But ya know? I waited 10 long years for this and that ring symbolizes it all. Strength, beauty, trust, perseverance, love, family. The openness, the honesty.

Colin is one of those guys who would never lead a sweet girl on. And he never did. But, he is also the type that, upon making up his mind, follows through with impeccable diligence. He truly is ready for me to be his wife and openly discusses the excitement, despite the stress, and the togetherness that is looming. We are truly in the spring of our relationship despite already spending 10 years together. Our love is renewed, refreshed, inspired, deep, meaningful, truthful, finally real and tangible.

The wedding planning is in full swing. I feel like we are on a journey together to discover and illustrate our essence, our aura. It is so far from the image I had long ago when our relationship was immature and uncertain. The wedding in my head in those days was so put together and so structured. Gone are the days of feeling that a well put together facade made up for a rocky relationship. Now that we are so happy, so sure, our wedding is turning out to be the carefree, backyard bash that resembles a 10 year old's birthday party. Relaxed, free spirited, silly and full of smiles and carefree love that can only be shared between family and close friends who collectively understand what it takes to really develop meaningful relationships and lifelong bonds. It really will be a moment for Colin and I to remember, regardless of where it is filed in our guests' list of memories. This is our memory to make.

The low points: Well, money, guest lists, timing, exhaustion, the questions. I also have this fear, that I haven't really shared with Colin except in a joking way. Starting a family. If his decision to make me his wife is any testament to his urgency to make what he wants a reality, then him just thinking about starting a family will result in a pregnancy! Once discussions become reality there is a renewed sense of self, life, consequence, responsibility. The person I was dying for a formal relationship is very different then the person actually working towards an actual relationship. Interesting, perplexing. Looking inward is a lot more difficult than looking outward. And more gratifying.

I love Colin. he is my best friend. He protects me, loves me, helps me to define the greatness I possess. I hope I do just a fraction of that for him. I look forward to being his wife, his partner in crime. I also look forward to the simplicity, the stillness, the non-urge to change ourselves despite changing our titles.

Next thing you know I will be blogging about problem family members and fabric swatches. I can't believe I am planning a wedding. I spent my whole relationship with Colin planning on not planning! lol! Life is grand and perplexing and spontaneous. I love life and the people who make it meaningful!