Not Alone

As stated in my previous post I'm feeling off. Sad, unmotivated, isolated, driven to long showers, entire bottles of wine, I even had a cigarette the other day. Clearly, taking care of myself isn't a priority. General hygiene and clothing seems to be enough. My cousin Sarah will be happy to know I haven't been skipping out on washing my face, but I may be skipping out on shaving my legs and brushing my teeth (don't tell my mom).

Today I finally got an invite from a mom friend. She will go unnamed because like me, she is sad. We only know each other on a mom level. We haven't cried in front of each other but we have had Baley's in our coffee mugs on morning play dates. I think we are close to becoming very close friends. We can talk - I mean, really talk. "Have you and your husband ever gone though a rough patch," she asked me today. Yes - don't we all? My heart broke because I feel on the verge of a rough patch with many relationships, especially the one I have with myself. 

Thank you unnamed mom friend. Thank you for helping me drag my kids out. Thank you for entertaining a future camping trip. Thank you for the cookies. Thank you for being in a funk with me, my close funky friend.

I have another friend. Okay, okay. It's the hubs high school sweetheart and we mutually agree to stalking each other. She is un-rutting herself as I type and on social media! Girl. Thank you for putting it out there. Thank you for exposing your struggle- cause the struggle is real. Know that I am with you and cheering for you on the bad days and on the good days! I'm hoping for some inspiration to un-rut myself as well!

I got a call from Peterson today too! My beautiful friend and her beautiful family. Her and the hubs have really be putting themselves first and looking good too! I'm jealous for sure but I know their success has not come without great sacrifice including bouts of unemployment, parenting struggles and straight up moving away from everyone and everything they know. Thank you, as always, for being a couple steps ahead of me and always offering me real life advise just when I need it. 

Gosh- I feel like this could be the longest blog in history. Now that I have time to reflect on my current situation I realize most people I know have been through it or are in the thick of it with me. All the parents I see everyday at daycare - including the dad that literally patted me on the back for calling out Sawyer's bad behavior - thank you. Or my BFF with no kids who struggles to find the balance between wife and woman - thank you. The single moms I know who manage to seemingly do it all and still squeeze in yoga and Tinder - thank you.

Anyway- I don't have a ton of close friends but feel close to a lot of women. You ladies who are close to me known who you are (and there are a couple of you thinking, am I? The answer is yes. Yes you are.) - and if you are reading this than obviously you are - and if we aren't close and you are reading this then we should be.

Ramble ramble. If I haven't reached out lately, I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you. I don't do that. But if we haven't talked or text or had drinks lately, chances are I may be feeling insecure about our friendship but that is on me - more importantly I miss you. Let's lift each other up - or just wallow together. That is what sisterhood is about.